Hatashenai: A Romantic Goofbally Comedy
by the Red Nothing
Summary: 2 years after the OAVs, a female bandit manages to worm her way into Tasuki's band. It ain't exactly love at first sight, but Rasconza grows on the seishi. Tasuki may have met the love of his life -IF he can stop hating girls, stammering, torching things
1. Tigress

Disclaimer: I don't own Tasuki. He comes over to play cards sometimes, but he cheats, and he's no fun. CHEATER! *Ahem* The bandit gal is mine. SO DON'T TAKE HER!! (Uhm, without asking.... Though I dunno why you'd actually WANT to...)  
  
Stuff: This takes place two years after the OAV. Everyone's been reincarnated into Miaka's world, except for Tasuki and Chichiri. They're alive, no da- er, DUH. Tasuki is once again a bandit leader, and who knows about Chichiri. (I wish I did!) This story'll probably get funnier as it goes on (as well as better-written. Ugh, I'm in a stupor).   
  
I'm gonna' be using the Chinese terms instead of the Japanese terms in this story. Even if you just watch the anime and don't read the manga, you should be able to figure out who's who and what's what. However, if you can't, just e-mail me and I'll straighten things out. I'd put a table, but I've already taken up too much room   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Hatashenai   
  
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku  
  
"You think you're all done; That you've reached the End. Well, whenever you think you've finished something, a little bit of it lives on. Then you get a new Beginning for something else. When you boil right down to it, everything is just Endless. Hatashenai."  
~Byakko no Miko  
  
  
Empty. That's what it felt like: ****n' empty. "People are such damned jerks," Huan-Lang grumbled to himself. "Gettin' yerself either killed 'r reincarnated..." He then thought of a certain quartet of Suzaku no Seishi. "Or BOTH!" He paused. "An' where th' hell is that damned monk?! Just runs off an'..." Huan-Lang lost himself in a quiet sea of mutterings and curses. Once better known as Tasuki, Huan-Lang had returned to his position as the leader of the Ligé-San Bandits. It'd been two years since their little "Memory Stone Escapade", three years since he'd seen Taka, Miaka, or even Chichiri. It was getting rather lonely, being Huan-Lang again. (Not that he'd admit it, of course)But as he'd said years before, the boys came first.  
  
"Knock-Knock!" The Phantom Wolf groaned. 'Not this shit again...'  
  
"Yeah, who is it?" The voice outside continued. "It's me, Knei-Gong! Yeah, so whaddya' want? I wanted t' talk t' ya about a new recruit! Then git yer ass in here! Come in!" The door swung open, revealing Huan-Lang's best friend and right-hand-man, and also a big idiot, Knei-Gong.  
  
"Arigatou."  
  
"So, what's this crap about a new recruit?" Huan-Lang asked, sounding only half-interested as he chewed on a chicken leg. Or a something leg. One could never tell.  
  
Knei-Gong grinned. "I've never met such a ****n' good bandit, Huan-Lang!! 'Cept fer you, o' course. That 'un looks like one helluva fighter. She's amazin'!"  
  
Huan-Lang spat the UFM (Unidentified Flying Meat) across the room. "_SHE_?!!!!!!"  
  
Knei-Gong groaned. 'Not this shit again...'  
  
Knei-Gong adopted an ultra-pleasant look on his face. "Allow me: 'Knei-Gong, I don't ****n' like girls!! I've told you that a million Suzaku-damned times!!' 'What about the Suzaku no Miko, eh? EH?!' 'Shut the **** up!! That's different!!' 'Not all peoples of the female gender are bad, Huan-Lang.' 'Feh. Prove it.' 'Why don't you ****n' DISprove it!!' 'Grrr...' 'Put the tessen down, Huan-Lang. Just give the chick a shot.' 'Gra... Fine!' 'Arigatou!!'"   
  
Knei-Gong grabbed The-Bandit-Foremerly-Known-As-Tasuki and hauled him forcibly toward the door.  
  
"Dammit Knei-Gong, can't you just keep that crazy shit to the Suzaku-damned dooooooooooor?!!"   
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
In the main hall of the Legé-San Mountain Bandits' hideout, there was quite a commotion. Drinks were being poured, the jingling and rattling of ryou echoed, and the sound of men laughing rowdily filled the hall.  
  
"Shh! It's the Boss!!"  
  
Having regained his composure, Huan-Lang stepped calmly into the room. He was dressed in his great black aqua-collared cloak, kept around his white blouse by a brown leather belt at the waist, and a gold clasp around his torso, his diamond harisen thrust in its back. He wore gray slacks, barely visible beneath his cloak, and knee-high black leather boots. His trademark jewelry, the two necklaces and earrings, shimmered. "Funny how he can wear those things and not look like a total pansy-ass," Knei-Gong had often remarked wryly. His unruly flaming orange hair was dashed atop his head, as if added there quickly as an afterthought to the bandit-lord's appearance.   
  
Huan-Lang The Phantom Wolf grinned, revealing his two wolf-like fangs. "OK, what's this I hear about a new recruit?"  
  
Immediately a chorus of unintelligible words, sprinkled with the occasional "Boss," seemed to attack Huan-Lang. He listened until he got fed up with it, which took him about 3.2 seconds.  
  
"SHUT YER TRAPS!!!"  
  
"..."  
  
Huan-Lang blew a wisp of orange hair that had strayed over his eye away nonchalantly before continuing. "Good. Now, I don't wanna' hear none o' yer crap. Lemmee hear the crap straight from th' horse's mouth!"  
  
The mob of bandits parted like the waters of the Red Sea to reveal a figure roughly five and a half feet tall standing alone. She was wearing a faded red tunic, ragged in a few places, and rough brown slacks. Like Huan-Lang, she wore boots instead of the traditional Chinese velvet shoes, though hers were just a bit higher than the ankle and brown. Her hair was a messy dirty-blond, cut very short and held out of her face by a red strip of cloth that looked as is it had been torn from her tunic. Slung around her torso and waist were belts stuffed with all kinds of knives, too many to count or describe.   
  
But her face was the most intriguing aspect about her. Her eyes were a hazel hue, but below the left was a long, thin scar that ran diagonally down her face and across the bridge of her nose, stopping under her right eye.  
  
The scar, the short hair, the weaponry, the outfit (Not to mention, as a certain bandit present would mention, a bit of a lack of "bustiness"), and the general look of ruthlessness about her combined made it necessary for Huan-Lang to blink a few times before realizing THIS was the alleged female bandit.  
"This is the new recruit, eh?" He asked, his voice casual and laid-back. "So what're you in thi- HEY!!"  
  
The female bandit had apparently grown bored very quickly, and was absentmindedly toying with two of her knives, both long, slender, and steel, tossing them in the air, twirling them, etc, while looking in a completely different direction.   
  
'Whoa...' *sweatdrop*   
  
"Oh, I'm sorry," she said, flashing a quick grin. "What did you say? I wasn't listening." She didn't give him a quirky wink like most girls would've. But the smile was almost half as bad.  
  
*pop* *pop* *pop* Went the veins on Tasuki's forehead. "Grr... Why do want to join my boys?!"  
  
She shrugged. "Money... Fun. I'm a bored person. This might cure my boredom..."   
  
*POP POP POP*   
  
"ARE YOU SAYIN' THAT YOU'LL ONLY JOIN US 'CAUSE YOU'RE FRIKKIN' _BORED_?!"  
  
She shrugged. "Yeah. Oh yeah, and th' money."  
  
"Grrrr..." The thunderclouds above Huan-Lang's head were clearly visible. "WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, ANYWAY!?!!"  
  
The woman brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She flipped the blade-up daggers into the air, caugh them by their hilts, and thrust them into her belt in one fluid motion.  
  
"Me? I'm called Rasconza The Tigress. Known for my blade-throwin'. Oh, an pilfering o' course."  
  
Huan-Lang grinned wolfishly, exposing his two infamous fangs. He undid both belts, then slowly slid his cloak off over his shoulders, eyes never leaving Rasconza. His shedded gear dropped to the ground, tessen and all, with a soft thud, leaving him standing in the loose shirt and slacks. He rolled his right sleave down, displaying his Constellation Symbol.   
  
"Me? My name's Huan-Lang, Th' Phantom Wolf. Though for awhile, I was known as Tasuki of the Suzaku no Seishi. I don't like fightin' girls... Hell, I don't like girls much at all. But yew... Yew don' leave me much o' a choice now, do ya?" His grin broadened. "So, lezzee how well a tigress..." He assumed a battle-stance. "CAN DEFEND HERSELF AGAINST A WOLF!!"  
  
*******************************************  
A/N: Brownie points if you can tell me where I swiped Rasconza's name from!  
  
  
  



	2. Slayer

(A/N): If you were wondering, the PG-13 rating is for language. This IS Tasuki. There may be some mildly suggestive themes, eventually, but nothing worse than what you see in FY yourself (probably nothing that bad, either.  
  
(Also, people will be SDing in this fic. It's half-humor, after all. They can't do it at will to hide or somethin', though... Well, MOST of them can't... ;) )  
  
Hatashenai  
  
~ A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku  
  
"...CAN DEFEND HERSELF AGAINST A WOLF!!"  
  
The room fell silent as Huan-Lang and Rasconza locked eyes. Their leader scarcely called himself Tasuki anymore, and when he did, he was SERIOUS. They'd never known the Boss to fight a woman before, either.   
  
Huan-Lang's eyes were deadly, glaring at the woman who called herself "Tigress". She stood there, steadfast, not moving an inch as she stared back at the flaming warrior.   
  
Then a strange sound filled the room. It was very quiet and melodious; You had to strain your ears to be sure you weren't just imagining it. It sounded somewhat like a tiny windchime, jingling prettily on spring evening. Not that that particular thought occurred to any of the bandits, as they were all dunderheads.  
  
*WHUMP!* *WHUMP!* *WHUMP!* *WHUMP!*  
  
Several of the bandits, including Knei-Gong, facefaulted when they realized it was the sound of the woman who looked for all the worlds like the champion of the AFCWF* _LAUGHING_.  
  
  
*Ancient Fictional China Wrestling Federation, of course!  
  
Huan-Lang kept his hell-demon stance, an expression on his face that would tear many people to shreds just by staring into his eyes.  
  
"That was a LOUSY analogy," Rasconza declared between chuckles.  
  
oO;; Huan-Lang Super-Deformed. "Wh-what?!"  
  
*Clang! Clatta clatta clang!*  
  
Rasconza unbuckled her belts and they fell to the floor, knives and all.   
  
SD Huan-Lang looked at Rasconza. Then he looked at the knives. Then he looked back at Rasconza, who had assumed a stance.   
  
"WHAT TH' HELL'RE YOU DOIN'?!"  
  
She shrugged. "You're fighting me unarmed, right?"  
  
  
"..." Huan-Lang went back to normal. The blade-thrower shrugged again.  
  
"'S only fair, ne?" A low growl escaped the Fire Wolf's throat.   
  
"Grr..." 'Dammit... I'll have to go easy on the little ****. She IS a girl after all..."  
  
As they both leapt into the air, fists extended, Huan-Lang swallowed as Rasconza shot toward him. He had a baaaaaaaad feeling he had underestimated her.  
  
'Great, Tas. You're in INCREDIBLE shit this time...'  
  
*Pow!* *WHAM!!*  
  
*THUD!*  
  
"URK!"  
  
The outcome of the flying leap attack had not been good for Huan-Lang. Having waited until much too late to realize the strength of his opponent, the result being that Rasconza The Tigress took a light blow and continued her gentle descent, while The Phantom Wolf took a gut-buster and "flew" to the ground about as gently and gracefully as a two-ton rock.  
  
Rasconza: 1 Tasuki: 0  
  
'Damn... She's good... For a girl...' Huan-Lang thought bitterly as he struggled to stand up. He glared at the ever-emotionless Rasconza and leveled a finger at her.  
  
"All right, bitch: No more games!!"   
  
With a warshout, Huan-Lang charged toward Rasconza. Shocked at the ferocity of the attack, she ducked just in time.  
  
*SHH...*   
  
She slid between Huan-Lang's legs, leapt up behind him, and clasped both hands together. She swung them together like a hammer.  
  
"HWAAAAAA!!"  
  
*WHAM!!*  
  
They slammed into Huan-Lang's unprotected back before he could tell what was happening. His eyes bugged out and his body slumped, but he didn't hit the ground. He grit his teeth together and winced for a split-second before falling into action.  
  
"YAAA!!"  
  
He swung a ferocious right-hook at Rasconza as he spun around. She ducked quickly, right into the uppercut Tasuki had prepared for her chin with his left hand.  
  
"ARRR!!" 'Don't scream like a girl, at least,' Huan-Lang thought to himself with a grin as Rasconza stumbled back several paces, clutching at her jaw. Even if he WAS fighting a girl, he was oddly enough starting to feel like the Tasuki of old again.  
  
Tasuki charged again as Rasconza tried to hoist herself back up on her feet with one arm. Tasuki was about to drive at her, but she kicked up almost vertically, almost getting him in the chin this time, but with inhuman speed, Tasuki grabbed her ankle and held her leg still. He gave a dangerous fanged grin at her as she stared at him for a split second, then spat blood and a tooth in his face.  
  
"Arrg!" Huan-Lang let go instinctively and wiped the blood out of his eyes, regaining visibility just in time to see Rasconza coming toward him, her left hand in a semi-fist, with the index and middle fingers poised to strike at him, almost like a claw. The blow landed about where his right arm met his torso. He felt an incredible surge of pain for a moment, and then his whole arm went numb.  
  
"Shit, a pressure point," he mumbled under his breath, his arm hanging limply at his side. He grimaced. He was going to WIN this thing, dammit!  
  
As Rasconza charged, Tasuki darted backward, then forward again before Rasconza knew what the hell was going on. As he rushed toward her, he felt that feeling of ecstasy rush through him again. He whooped, then shouted his battle-cry once again:  
  
"LEKKA, SHIIIIIIIIIIEEEEN!!"  
  
*POW!!*  
  
The mach-flying kick to her stomach almost knocked her senseless. She gasped frantically for air.  
  
"AN' AGAIIIIIIIIIIIIN!!"   
  
*WHAM!!*  
  
The left-hook DID knock her senseless. She literally went sailing through the air upon impact. Bandits dodged out of her path until...  
  
*SMASH!!*  
  
Tasuki stood steadfast, breathing heavily as he watched the woman go flying into the wall. He wiped a mixture of her blood as well as his own from his face as he savored his evident victory.  
  
Then the horror of reality struck him.  
  
Rasconza seemed to freeze on the wall for a moment. Then slowly, she slid to the floor, coming to a rest on her side. Her body was twisted into a sickening, unnatural shape. Her eyes were wide open, and completely white, and red, once the blood slowly trickled down from her forehead. If she was breathing at all, it was barely. Her arm twitched once, then fell limp at her side, stark contrast to the other, twisted and raised above her head.  
  
Tasuki's eyes widened is horror. He'd gone too far. He closed his eyes tightly, hoping that when he opened them again, the ghastly scene would disappear.  
  
"Dammit," he swore he slumped to the floor, his own wounds forgotten. He didn't even know the person, but he found himself crying for her.  
  
He sat slumped on hands and knees, tears and blood occasionally falling on the back of his good hand, his other still hanging at his side. "Stupid... STUPID..." He hissed at himself. No matter how strong her body was, or how strong her will was, she was still a woman. And still a regular human being. She didn't have his power...  
  
He looked again forlornly at Rasconza The Tigress. Hell, she might as well have been Rasconza The Cherry Blossom for all of his strength, he thought bitterly. Her sandy blond hair was now tinted crimson.  
  
He whipped his head away, finding himself staring at the pile of knives that were alive like Rasconza a moment ago, but now as dead and as cold as she was. He stifled a wail. Yes, he was an asshole. Stupid The mother@&@*ing nerve of him... Killing someone who meant him no #@^!ing harm at all... Dammit... DAMMIT...  
  
The ashen faces of all of his comrades were staring at him. The tears welled up. What what they think? What would Chichiri think? What would Miaka think?  
  
  
  
'She'd cry...'  
  
  
Tasuki lifted his head toward the sky, roaring his lament and his curse to the heavens. "DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTT!!!"  
  
And then Huan-Lang The Phantom Wolf fell into blackness.  
  
  
  
(A/N: And you thought this was a comedy! It IS, or will be, or whatever, but a bit of drama doesn't hurt. Sorry about that.)  



	3. Talk

  
(A/N: Some vocab: Nani=What. Ano is the equivilant of our "Uh". Ano, yeah... 'N stuff...)  
  
Hatashenai  
  
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku  
  
  
  
"...nally awake."  
  
"Heh, go git Knei-Gong."  
  
Huan-Lang blinked. Once, twice, immediately recognizing his own room. He felt a splitting pain in his skull, along with a dull ache in his right arm, and the rest of his body throbbing slightly. He looked up at the blurry bandits above him.  
  
"Uhh... Hsing-Chu...? Fa-Song?" The bandits in question grinned. "Glad t' see yer awake, Boss." Huan-Lang had a nagging thought in the back of his mind, but couldn't quite put his finger on what it was. "Wh-"  
  
"What's goin' on?" Hsing-Chu interrupted. "Yew've been asleep fer three days, Boss, sweatin' somethin' awful. Ever since that duel with the phsyco-chick, we wan't sure if ya'-HEY!!!"  
  
'Physco-chick!! Duel!! DAMMIT!!' Tasuki, despite the pain, was already charging out the door. He passed Knei-Gong in the hallway, sending him into a little whirlwind as he dashed by.  
  
'Three days... CRAP!! They prolly already buried 'er. Still... I gotta' check! If there's any way at all she's still here, that them ****n' shitheads thought ta' keep her 'till I could pay my respects...I can't call myself a man unless I do at least that much...'  
  
Tasuki knew that if her body was still here, it would be in the West Wing. The old boss had thought it would be funny to name the hideout as if it were a castle. The West Wing was where the women would stay if there was ever a need, like a bandit's sister or mother or something. Even though it was unlikely that they would ever need to use it, the old boss had thought it would be a good idea.   
  
And he was right.  
  
Once in the "West Wing," Tasuki quickly found what he was looking for: The door to one of the rooms was slightly ajar, and a warm candle-glow flickered from the inside. Tasuki dashed toward it.  
  
*pant!* *pant!* "BOSS!!" Huan-Lang heard Knei-Gong's voice shout out to him. "YA DON'T WANNA GO IN THERE!!"  
  
"YES I DO!!" The Bandit Lord retorted. "IT'S NOT LIKE I'VE NEVER SEEN A ****n' DEAD BODY BEFORE!!"   
  
*SLAM!*  
  
Huan-Lang dashed into the room, slammed the door behind him and...  
  
"What're you doing here?"  
  
! Oo  
  
There, sitting in the bed, was Rasconza. She was still wearing what she'd been before, only now soaked with well-dried blood. She was bandaged and bound in several places, obviously the work of the only bandit that had any medical training whatsoever, Hwah-Miroka. She had a bandage running around her head and over her left eye.   
  
Sitting on her lap was a large piece of parchment. She was painstakingly writing complicated kanji symbols with a brush on it, every once in a while dipping it into the inkwell on the table next to the bed.  
  
Huan-Lang froze and SD'd, opening and closing his mouth. "..." He said.  
  
"Hey."  
  
"Oo;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;" Huan-Lang said.  
  
"Eh?"  
  
"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Huan-Lang said.  
  
"What is it?!"  
  
Tasuki opened his mouth, and the words he found himself saying shocked even him.  
  
"I'm sorry."  
  
Rasconza blinked a few times, then shook her head. "It was a fair fight, Huan-Lang. I lost, you won: So I'm gonna' git my ass outta' here pretty soon."  
  
Tasuki's brain raced. 'Ok, OK. PERFECT!! This way I ken make it up to 'er! Hah!' He shuffled his feet.  
  
"Aw, what th' hell: Yew can stay. We could use another bandit, girl or no girl." He gave a toothy grin. Girls couldn't be all THAT bad... Could they? Not THIS one... right.....?  
  
"Besides, you ken fight. And... Uhm, yeah!!... And kick ass n'... Yup!...and.. STOP LOOKING AT ME LIKE THAT?!!"  
  
Rasconza sweatdropped and raised the eyebrow over her good eye. "Like...What?"  
  
Tasuki flailed his arm about wildly. "LIKE _THAT_!!!"   
  
"?" Said Rasconza. "Uhm, all right then..." She turned her head away.  
  
"DON'T DO _THAT_!!!" He shrieked. "I _WANT_ YOU TO LOOK AT ME!!!" Rasconza was loosing her patience.  
  
"WELL THEN HOW TH' HELL DO YOU _WANT_ ME TO LOOK AT YOU?!! I CAN ONLY USE ONE ****n' EYE!!! WANT ME TO USE THE OTHER ONE OR SOMETHIN'?!!!"  
  
Tasuki froze in mid-flail. "Yew... Lost yer eye?" He stared for a moment. Her LEFT eye...  
  
  
Rasconza rolled her eye. "Naw, yer doctor can't bandage stuff worth a shit. This was around my head. It fell over my eye an' nobody's making it very easy to get it back up there. Every time I shove it up, it falls down again... Stupid piece of shit..."  
  
Tasuki muttred something, then cleared his throat. "Ano..."  
  
"Nani?"  
  
"What the ****," Tasuki grumbled, half to himself, as he walked over to the bed undid the loose tie on the back of the bandage around Rasconza's head. 'I don't see why he's gotta' be all dark an' muttery about tying a bandage... Yeesh. Byakko be damned...' She tried to look up at him.   
  
"Hold still, dammit," he grumbled. "Sheesh, I don't see why ya' couldn't do this tiny little bit of work yourself..."  
  
"I'm having trouble lifting my arms over my head," she stated simply. "My right arm's fine, except the muscles hurt an' I can't lift it very high at all... The other arm... Heh, that's a different story."   
  
"Shut up," Tasuki said quickly, without thinking. Rasconza blinked. "Ar, sorry... I feel pretty bad about that... Damn yer a good fighter!!" He grinned as he finished tying the knot, then cast his eyes downward. "But dammit, I didn't hafta' knock ya' alla way into a **** WALL... I dunno what the- O.O" Tasuki found himself staring at Rasconza's chest.  
  
*WHAP!!*  
  
"OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOW!!!" SD Tasuki danced around the room, clutching at his cheek. "WRONG IDEA WRONG IDEAAA!! Yer right: That right arm's FINE!!" He returned to normal size and plopped down onto the bed. "Dammit, just lemmee FINISH!! Yer tunic's covered in dried blood, woman. Didn't anybody clean it?!"  
  
"They're all men here," she replied cooly. "It'd take a lot of work and dexterity an' crap ta change these things... Something neither o' us have."  
  
*wheeeeeew...* Tasuki sighed in relief.  
  
They sat there in silence for awhile, Tasuki occasionally taking careful glances at the now rusty-brown tunic out of the corner of his eye. Dammit, he wished that Mitsukake were here. Or Miaka. She was a girl. Hell, at least Nuriko was close. But none of them were left. He was gettin' desperate. SOMETHING needed to be done about that. Dammit, he could use even-  
  
"DAAAAAAAAAA!!"  
  
Oo  
  
OO  
  
  
  
(A/N: BUAHAHAHA!! Did _I_ ever CONFIRM she was dead!? Noooo? Heh. BTW, thanks so much fer yer reviews. ACK, Tasuki-speach!! Ja matte!!)  
  



	4. Scars

((A/N: *is bandaging Tasuki's head from a brick-inflicted wound* Hey! We're on to the fourth chapter! There's going to be a joke that you may not get, so I wanted to teach you two Japanese words ahead of time (though you otaku's probably alread know 'em): Chichi and Otousan. They both mean father. Oh, a kitsune is a kind of fox-sprite. Also, I'd like to congratulate lalaoyoy for correctly guessing where I got Rasconza's name from. Rasconza is a male fox-corsair in the Redwall book "The Pearls Of Lutra,". The only consistency between Mr. Jaques' Rasconza nad mine is that they're both blade-throwers. Congrats, lalaoyoy! *gives her/him 20 brownie points* That's all -hold still, you pyro!!))  
  
Hatashenai  
  
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku  
  
"DAAAAAAAAAAAA!!" Said a voice coming from the corner of the room. It was a monk, complete with staff and kesa, with a funny kitsune-like face and blue, not to mention anti-gravity, hair. He was grinning like a madmonk.  
  
"Hu-Huan-Lang," stammered Rasconza as she grabbed at his sleeve. "What IS that?!"  
  
The monk frowned. "Was THAT very nice no da?"  
  
Huan-Lang stared at the monk blankly. "Ch-Chichiri," he stated, pulling his sleeve free.  
  
"Da?"  
  
"CHICHIRI!!! IT'S BEEN YEARS!!"  
  
*TRALALA!* * TRALALA!!*  
  
Huan-Lang and "Chichiri" spun about doe-see-doe style.  
  
-,-; said Rasconza.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
*SNOOP SNOOP!* *SNOOP SNOOP!*  
  
Knei-Gong, Hsing-Chu, Fa-Song, and the three other bandits with their ears to the door sighed, while the twenty-or-so behind them listened on intently.   
  
Knei-Gong stood up. "That was supposed to be OUR dance, Huan-Lang," he whimpered to himself before addressing the crowd. "OK, show's over folks! Let's git our asses outta'- ACK!!"  
  
*CLUNK!*  
  
"Goin' somewhere, Knei-Gong?" Huan-Lang raised an eyebrow, his fist still poised where Knei-Gong's head had been a moment before. Behind him was that weird monk many of the bandits remembered, Otousanny or something, with a happy look on his face and Rasconza's left arm slung around his shoulders. Her other arm was pressed firmly on Tasuki's forearm, supporting her as she leaned forward and looked wryly over his shoulder at the bandits.  
  
"Yeah, I was wondrin' that m'self..."   
  
"Uh, gee," muttered Knei-Gong as he brushed imaginary dust from his tunic. "We were just, ah, well, you know... WOW! Look at the time!!" He exclaimed, staring at an imaginary watch that hadn't been invented yet on his wrist. "I gotta' get goin!! Bya!!"   
  
*WHUMP!!*  
  
Knei-Gong grinned stupidly up from his current position on the floor at Huan-Lang, who was standing on the edge of his cloak. "Ok boys, I dunno WHAT th' hell what you were hopin' ta hear, but th' partie's over." The bandits looked at The Boss like he was a total moron (which I, for one, am NOT denying). He growled. "I don't LIKE girls!! Now..." Tasuki looked at his bandits with a menacing look on his face. "SCOOCH! Chichiri's gonna' change Roscanza's bandages! So MOVE. YER. ASSES!!."  
  
*WHOOSH!!*  
  
Little blurs of what were probably bandits sailed down the hall and far, far away...  
  
Tasuki gave a little fanged grin. "Heh, stupid sonssabitches. I'm gonna' go 'n' eat. You get yerself fixed up, woman, an' maybe you an' Chich ken join us." 'Ar, why the hell am I bein' so nice?!' Tasuki asked himself mentally. *Because you nearly killed her, asshole?* 'Oh yeah...'   
  
"OK, let's clean you up no da!" Rasconza would not normally have so readily let some guy she hardly knew change her bandages, but she felt oddly at ease with this person, like he was her brother or something. Then again, her brother was a psychopath... In fact, this was a spell being cast by Chichiri so that he wouldn't have a hard time, because SOMEBODY had to change those bandages, or else Rasconza was going to get an infection.   
  
*However, we all know Chichiri isn't a hentai. He's just trying to do what's best. So get yer minds outta' the gutter! *  
  
"Yikes, these wounds are pretty bad no da!! You should've gotten them treated sooner no da!" He exclaimed as he redid the bandage around her chest and cleaned the wound. "Don't mind Tasuki no da. He's a bit... Wild no da..."  
  
'Tasuki? Oh yeah, that was his seishi name...' "Hey, how d'ya know Huan-Lang?" Rasconza asked curiously. "Well, I guess he's th' Boss now, but..."  
  
Chichiri grinned. "Because Tasuki and I share a history no da!" He tore at his pant-leg to reveal...  
  
"O.O THE MARK OF THE WELL!" Rasconza exclaimed. "You're a SUZAKU NO SEISHI!!" Chichiri smiled and flashed the victory sign. "No da!"  
  
  
Chichiri then first noticed her scar. "How did you get that?" He asked softly. Rasconza adverted her gaze. She mumbled something under her breath. Chichiri removed his mask and smiled softly.  
  
"I got this a long time ago. When I was eighteen, I was known as Ri-Houjin, and I was the happiest man alive." Chichiri smiled forlornly, overcome by a wave of nogalistia. "I was engaged to be married to the woman I loved more than life itself, and I had a best friend that was always right behind me in everything I did..." His good eye began to tear up. Rasconza actually looked concerned.  
  
"But one day... I found them..." Rasconza prepared herself for the worst. "...kissing."  
  
*WUMP!*  
  
"OW!"  
  
"Never facefault in this condition," she growled to herself. "That's IT?! KISSING?!!" Chichiri gave her a deathglare.   
  
"Who's telling this story: You or me no da?!" Rasconza sighed in resignation and crawled back up on the bed.  
  
"So," Chichiri continued, going back to angsty-bishounen mode. "My best friend and I got into a fight... My fiancé killed herself... And a flood hit the village, wiping out everyone but my best friend and I... We were battling on a cliff... And he slipped... But... I grabbed his hand to save him and... And..." He gestured toward his scar. "A log... Came at my eye... And ripped it out... And I let go... And he...He..." Rasconza patted Chichiri on the back. "I get it; Don't trouble yerself..." Chichiri smiled and put his mask back on.  
  
"Arigatou no da. Now, will you tell me how you got your scar no da?" He asked pleasantly as he finished with the last bandage. Rasconza winced. "Uh, well..." Chichiri grinned. "I won't tell anybody." Rasconza sighed heavily. "OK, but yew asked fer it..."  
  
"When I was seven, my brother Karasuki and I were eatin' a meal... An Mom served up the last piece o' cake and we both wanted it and we got into a fight..."  
  
*sweatdrop*  
  
Rasconza pointed at her scar and said two simple words: "Fork wound."  
  
*WHUMP!!*  
  
Chichiri picked himself up off the floor. "O-OK no da!! W-Well, I'm going to go eat no da!! Those wounds'll heal pretty quickly, now that they've been bandaged properly na no da!! You should be able to leave bed tomorrow no da! Farewell!" Chichiri grabbed his kasa, thought better of it, and actually just used the door for once.  
  
Rasconza sighed. "Well, whatever..."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
In the dining hall, there was a lot of excitement, now that the Boss was back in action. He sat in his place at the head of the table, Chichiri to his left and Knei-Gong to his right. While the bandits slopped down their food, Huan-Lang debated how to make his announcement. He eventually decided on his usual method:  
  
I said so. Deal with it.  
  
"OK, BOYS, LISTEN UP!!! That Rasconza lady..."  
  
Everybody held their breaths.  
  
"She's one of us now!! So listen good!! My ol' pal Chichiri here..."  
  
"DA!"  
  
*sweatdrop*  
  
"... says that even though you shitheads did a half-ass job on her bandages, she should be able to walk around t'morrow!! I don't need t' tell you she's a girl, so be nice, right?!"   
  
"Yer right: Ya don't."  
  
Rasconza stood in the doorway to the dining hall, slightly slumping against it for support, arms crossed and head cocked. "I ken handle myself, fella's. You don't have t' pretend to be a bunch of ultra-nice shitheads just because I'm girl, GOT IT?!"  
  
Oo;;   
  
Many of the bandits figured maybe it would be a good idea to do so anyway, just for the sake of having all of their body parts when they woke up the next morning.   
  
Rasconza grabbed one of her knives and flung it at the table. It landed quivering right in front of Huan-Lang's right hand.  
  
  
OO;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;   
  
"YEEEEHAAAAAAAW!! RASCONZA THE TIGRESS IS BACK. IN. ACTION!!!"  
  
  
(A/N: I wanted to say something about the "pressure point" thing back in chapter 2: There IS a pressure point there. It's hard to find, though I wouldn't recommend trying to find it. I swear to God that my arm _DID_ still hurt five days later. (and I hit the pressure point MYSELF )  
  
  
  



	5. Eniquophobia

  
((A/N: As for the name of this chapter, "Equinophobia": You probably dunno what it means. Neither did I, a couple of days ago. I went on a website to find out what the name was of the phobia I wanted. You'll know what Equinophobia means at the end of the chapter :)   
  
((Another thing I wanted to note was that this story may be getting a bit violent. So be forewarned! *yeesh, I may have to change the secondary genre!*))  
  
Hatashenai  
  
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku  
  
"Knife... Dagger... Dirk... Knife -erg, I mean Slasher and- Ah, SHIT!!" Tasuki hurled the handful of knives he was sorting through onto the floor, sending them clattering about. Rasconza turned around from where she was packing a little bag of "tools" for their next raid.  
  
"That's a Cleaver, Huan-Lang," she stated, rolling her eyes. "Butchers use 'em."  
  
Tasuki shot her a deathglare. "Whaddid I tell ya about calling me 'Huan-Lang', woman?"  
  
"Whaddid I tell ya about calling me 'woman', BOSS?"  
  
Huan-Lang and Rasconza were preparing for that night's raid, and Rasconza's first. It had been twelve days since Rasconza's arrival, and a week since Chichiri's. The new bandit was getting along quite well with the other bandits, and they didn't even seem to notice that she was, well, a she. Though she DID tend to bicker with Huan-Lang a lot. The monk had decided to stay for awhile, because, as he had so wisely put it, "Da".  
  
Speaking of which, Chichiri was planning on doing something curious: He was going to accompany Tsing-Ka, Huan-Lang, and Rasconza on tonight's raid. It wasn't a very big one: Just some estate somewhere. He assured them HE wasn't going to steal anything, but rather, "Keep an eye on you people no da,".   
  
Rasconza shouldered her bag. "Right Sparky, let's move out." A look of sheer horror crossed The Phantom Wolf's face.  
  
"SPARKY?!!!!!"  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~   
  
Huan-Lang, Rasconza, Chichiri, and Tsing-Ka, the bandit who had had a very, VERY short relationship with the last Emperor of Hong-Nan, waved goodbye to Knei-Gong.   
  
"You take care o' th' Boss fer us, 'k Rasconza?!" He joked. "He gits his ass in too deep too much!"  
  
Huan-Lang gave a fanged scowl at his best friend. He was about to make an EVIL retort when he noticed Rasconza had turned a ghastly white, her mouth was agape, and her eyes were wide. She was staring transfixed at the three horses, not uttering a sound except occasional attempts at breathing. Tasuki had no idea why, but he felt his body go numb, too.   
  
"RASSY!" He yelled, gripping her shoulders. "RASSY!!"  
  
Wide eyes never leaving the horses, Rasconza lifted her arm, made a fist, and bopped Tasuki in the face. Hard.  
  
"OWOWOWOWOW!!" He rubbed his red cheek. "Oi, well I see you're FINE, woman!" But Rasconza continued to stare blankly at the blue mare, the black roan, and a brown stallion that looked a lot like a modern-day racing horse. A lightbulb appeared over Tsing-Ka's face.  
  
"Rasconza is afraid of HORSES!!!" Rasconza shot him an excellent deathglare, but remained ghostly pale. Chichiri made his Sad In A Mask Face (tm). Tasuki sweatdropped, then grinned.   
  
"BUAHAHAHA!! TH' WOMAN'S AFRAID OF A HORSE!! BUAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" Chichiri frowned.  
  
"Well, I seem to remember a certain tessen-carrying seishi that ran SCREAMING from water no da..."   
  
"BUAHAHAHA-Er, yeah," grumbled Huan-Lang as he sweatdropped. "Listen, d'ya know HOW to ride a horse?" Rasconza shook her head. Tasuki shrugged as he swung onto the brown horse.  
  
"Well, then you'll jes hafta' saddle up wit Chichiri. He won' letcha- EH?!"   
  
Chichiri was a bit put out at Tasuki for so readily messing with a person's phobia. He knew Tasuki wasn't exactly crazy about water, so he had no right to talk. So he decided to be OOC, by which I mean, MEAN.  
  
"Sorry Tasuki no da," he said as he got up on the mare. "I don't think she should ride with me no da. I'm not very good on a horse, and this one doesn't seem very strong no da. Ask Tsing-Ka instead no da." Huan-Lang growled darkly to himself before turning to the bandit in question.  
  
"Tsing-Ka?"  
  
Contrary to popular belief (especially among certain reincarnated emperors), Tsing-Ka was NOT stupid. He caught onto Chichiri's little plan quickly, and smiled at the Boss as he put it into action.  
  
"Sorry, Boss," he stated. "I don't think Anckonshi is very docile. He don' like no 'un but me." Tsing-Ka slyly slipped a knife (though if you asked Rasconza, she would rabidly inform you it was a DAGGER) out of his belt and gently pricked the roan he was now mounted on in the neck as Huan-Lang approached it. It whinnied and nearly kicked Huan-Lang's horse. Huan-Lang backed off.  
  
"Tch, fine woman, git up here. He reached down to give her a hand.  
  
'*WHUMP!* She scowled, but spoke rather softly. "I don' need no help getting ON the ****n' horse." Her voice dropped to a scared whisper as she wrapped her arms around Huan-Lang's waist and shut her eyes tightly.  
  
"It's when they start MOVIN' I get spooked..."  
  
*BA-DUMP*  
  
'Tch, whatever.' Huan-Lang turned the horse in a circle to face Chichiri and Tsing-Ka, noting that Rasconza's terrified grip on him tightened even more.  
  
"OK, fella's, listen up!" He addressed his tiny group. "We're goin' t' be robbin' this place that's about five miles from here!! Big estate, s'possedly belongin t' some guy who worked for th' Qu-Dong." He lowered his voice. "I dunno if it's true or not, but treasure's treasure! Let's git our asses outta' here!!"  
  
The three horses disappeared into the forest and sunset, carrying a bandit-leader, a magical monk, an ex-Emperor chaser, and a thoroughly terrified blade-thrower.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
The ride was pretty uneventful. The quartet rode along in total silence, and they weren't making very good time. Tasuki noted that whenever they had to speed up a bit, Rasconza's grip on him would tighten. 'I dunno HOW th' hell I got suckered into this...' *Because you nearly killed her, asshole?* The other voice replied, the one that always appeared whenever he was nice to the scarily strong-willed warrior behind him. No. I don't think that's it  
  
?  
  
I think it's something else A new voice was talking. A voice Tasuki didn't even know he HAD...  
  
'What're you insinuatin'?!'  
  
*Besides the fact you're a skitzo?*  
  
'Shaddup!!'  
  
Oh, nothing... But think about it... Isn't she PRETTY?  
  
'Shaddup you stupid sunnova...'   
  
But Tasuki, despite himself, looked. And, as if by some cruel twist of fate, the sunset was in full-blossom, highlighting Rasconza The Tigress' face and hair. Tasuki cocked his head as he stared at the most annoying person in the world for over a week of his life, almost confused.  
  
When she wasn't trying to stab you, or swearing at you, or insulting you, or breaking your bones, or secretly aggravating you by beating your finest male warriors to a pulp without blinking, or just plain trying to KILL you...  
  
...she WAS kinda' cute...   
  
  
'Tch, whatever,' Tasuki literally told himself(ves). However, he wanted to try something, just to see if it would work... And if it did... How it felt...  
  
Heh heh heh Just do it Tasuki rolled his eyes, then allowed himself the tiniest grin, the tips of his fangs barely protruding from his upper lip.  
  
"YAH!!"   
  
The horse broke into a trot. For those of you people who know nothing about horses and think that a trot is nice and slow, you're WRONG. A "trot" feels more like a "gallop" and when you DO feel a GALLOP... Ugh. But I'm getting ahead of myself here. A trot is very fast, and VERY bumpy.   
  
Rasconza gave a grunt and tried to fold her head into her chest as she got a firmer grip on Tasuki by CAREFULLY moving her arms to his torso.   
  
"Hua-Huan-Lang!" She hissed, nearly suffocating him in her iron grip. "What the **** are you DOING?!"   
  
Huan-Lang shrugged, causing Rasconza to make an amusing "Eep"ing noise as his shoulders shifted. "I dunno. Going faster?"  
  
"Ooo," grumbled Rasconza as her fingers kneaded into the fabric of his cloak and tunic, latching on for dear life. "Yer gonna' get it..."   
  
The orange-haired Bandit-Lord chuckled. "Oh I AM, am I? Well, we REALLY need to make time sooooooo..." Rasconza's heart leapt into her throat. Tasuki leaned foreward, then smacked the horse's rear.  
  
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD.  
  
"BUAHAHAHAAHAA!!" He roared. This was FUN.   
  
*mmph!*  
  
Oo;;   
  
Tasuki felt Rasconza's head buried into the thick cloth of his tunic on his shoulder. She was pretty much sloping her body to the curve of his back, too afraid to even breathe. She kept on trying to hold on even more tightly, so as she wouldn't die a agonizing and cloppity death.  
  
Tasuki wasn't sure he liked this feeling. But he wasn't at all sure he didn't like it, either.  
  
"Ano, hey..." He grumbled, turning his head to look at her. "You OK? Yew afraid 'r somethin?"  
  
Rasconza peeped up to look at her tormentor, and gave him a little rewarding smile. "Nottat all."  
  
She then snuggled back into her little sanctum and squeezed her eyes shut. Tasuki grinned. Yes indeed, as long as she wasn't trying to slit your throat, she wasn't too bad to have around at all.  
  
A slight distance behind him, Chichiri gave Tsing-Ka a broad smile and the thumbs-up sign. Tsing-Ka grinned and winked back.  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"You're sure it's Ptah-Shu?"  
  
"No, Lord,"  
  
"Then why do you bother us?!"  
  
*SMASH!!*  
  
A purple-robed figure sitting on a large throne in a darkened room chucked a golden wine-goblet at the mottled greenish-brown-cloaked man bowing before him. His aim was slightly off, and the goblet shattered on the wall behind him.   
  
"Please, Lord, understand: It may or may not be Ptah-Jun's child. We cannot tell from such a distance. A person is with them that clearly has the chi of a sorcerer. It would be foolhardy to go any nearer. There are four: Two that we know naught of, though one of them may or may not be Ptah-Shu. The two others, however..." The cloaked man paused and allowed a twisted grin to further contort his already hideous face. "...are seishi."  
  
Though the darkness still blotted out the "lord's" features, the grotesque smile could be seen clearly. A strange symbol on his cheek glowed a searing green as he uttered one word:  
  
"Go."  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
Tasuki had once again gone back to a trot, as his horse seemed to be getting tired. He could only hope that it didn't share its brother's interest in boxing...  
  
However, Rasconza was still snuggled into his cloak. She wasn't digging her fingers into it anymore, and her arms were back around his waist, and at least Huan-Lang could frikkin' BREATHE again, but she was still there, apparently resting.  
  
'That's one tough chick,' he thought to himself. 'She deserves a little break.'  
  
Tasuki went back to enjoying the scenery. A very pansy thing to do, but then again, so was letting some girl use your current clothing as a semi-blanket. Then again, he wondered if this pansy-ifying factor was negating if the girl was a wild knife-throwing maniac, or if the fact that horses and eniquophobia were involved...  
  
'Aw, just screw it.' No one had to know.  
  
The sun had gone down completely. It was a crescent moon, only illuminating the elm forests slightly. He could faintly make out the rustling of leaves over the clip-clopping of the horses, probably some squirrels gathering nuts or somethin'. A faint shimmer could be seen from the dephths of the forest, indicating a lake or a spring of some sort. A cool night breeze ruffled his fiery hair and Rasconza's brownish-blond together, re-  
  
"TSING-KA!! LOOK OUT!!"  
  
Tsing-Ka heeded Chichiri's warning just in time. As he reared up his horse, a huge scimitar blade came slashing down from the foliage, decapitating his horse from the neck and sending Tsing-Ka crashing to the ground.  
  
*Whiiiiineeeee!!!*  
  
"AAHHH!!"  
  
Tasuki and Chichiri's horse skirked sending Rasconza sliding off of its back, dragging Huan-Lang with her. Without missing a beat, the Phantom Wolf flipped places with Rasconza, sending him crashing down to the ground on his back, shielding Rasconza from the hard earth with his own body. He heard the steady hoofbeats of his horse continue for a few moments, then fall silent with a whinnie and the sound of steel striking bone.  
  
"WHAT THE ****?!!" Screamed Tsing-Ka as he grabbed for his saber. Tasuki, despite the pain, rolled Rasconza off of his stomach and grabbed his tessen, assuming a battle-stance.  
  
"Give us Ptah-Shu and no one else will be harmed." A cold voice said, echoing throughout the still and once peaceful night that now ranked with the stench of blood.  
  
"What the **** did you just say, you MOTHER-****ING BASTARD?!!" Tasuki's chi was building. "WHO IN TH' NAME OF FOUR GODS DO YA _THINK_ . YOU. ARE??!!"  
  
Just at that moment, Chichiri, who was still mounted atop his mare, cast a spell. 'No good at riding my ass,' thought Tasuki darkly, despite the circumstances. It illuminated the scene: About six or seven dark men dressed similarly to the Qu-Dong assassins, only dressed in green-brown cloaks, were glaring at them, giant weapons held easily and at the ready. Another one stood at the front of the group, a sneer on his face.  
  
"I'll repeat myself," he said as Tasuki, Chichiri, and Tsing-Ka snarled. "I said: Give us Pt-ACK!!"  
  
Never again would the man repeat anything, because a golden, silent blade was now growing from both sides of his neck. All of the men turned to see Rasconza, the feared tigress once again, now that horses were out of the picture, standing with an arm extened from the action of throwing the blade, the other arm grasping the handle of another. She took the knife and pointed at her scar with it. The assassins' eyes went wide.  
  
"_I'M_ Ptah-Shu!" She yelled. "Yew boys want me?! COME 'N GET ME!!"  
  
  
  
  
((A/N: Eniquophobia is the fear of horses.  
  
(( OOOO!! SPOOKY!! *actual thoughts of readers: What kinda' crack is Akai _ON_?!* For added effect, hum "Heart Ni Kuahoshi Sakashitare"!! ))  
  



	6. Cry

  
Hatashenai  
  
~A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku  
  
Chichiri's mind had been forged by hundreds of battles, and it began to work like a machine. There were six men, seven if you counted the one the not-so-defenseless maiden had dispatched. That made it two for some of them, one for the others.   
  
"SPREAD OUT!!" He roared. "THEY HAVE SORCERERS' CHI NO DA!!"   
  
Tasuki readied his tessen. "Yew don't stay down fer long, do ya, woman?!" He bellowed. "All right, LEKKA... "  
  
*SHWOOP!*  
  
The men shimmered and vanished.  
  
"Dammit," muttered Tsing-Ka as he tensed up, gripping his saber. "They're doing that Qu-Dong ****...."  
  
Silence  
  
"TSING-KA, ABOVE YOU!!"  
  
*Shhhhhhhhhht...!  
  
Tsing-Ka sidestepped just in time as the huge scimitar blade cleaved practically his after-image in half. He brought up his saber quickly, but found the strange cloaked man had some sort of blade of his own under his robe, which he used to parry. The force of the parry knocking both men back, Tsing-Ka found himself parrying with another assassin that had been waiting to strike behind him.  
  
The first assassin found himself landing against Chichiri's chest. The monk frowned and slammed an uppercut into the man's chin; Chichiri was stronger than he looked. The man fell to the earth as his eyes rolled back in his head. Chichiri dashed off to help Tsing-Ka.  
  
"LEKKA SHIEEEEN!!"  
  
*FOOMPH!!*  
  
The forest was illuminated briefly by the Divine Blaze. Two assassins screamed out in pain as they fell to the ground, burns searing. One never got up. The other came at Tasuki with startling speed.   
  
*SHINK!*  
  
"AAAAAAAAAARGH!!"  
  
Tasuki pressed his palm to his left shoulder in a futile attempt to staunch the flow of blood. He growled as the assassin prepared to strike again...  
  
...and in a phantom blur, the assassin crumpled to his knees, struck down by a red blade, flying with its keeper.   
  
Tasuki gripped his tessen, ready to cast the spell, when the assassin leapt into the air and shot toward the Bandit Lord, only to be knocked aside by the same blur, swept up in a martial dance for his very life.  
  
Tsing-Ka and Chichiri battled two assassins back-to-back, both men bleeding in several places. They were trying to fight their way to Tasuki, and though they couldn't see her, Chichiri could sense that Rasconza was close by. His voice became urgent. "Tsing-Ka no da!"   
  
"AAIEEEEEE!!"  
  
A carcass fell to the earth as a blur shot out from a tree and toward Tasuki, who had another assassin closing in behind him. The faint smell of smoke wafted into Chichiri's nostrils.  
  
"Four Gods...!", he breathed. The entire forest was ablaze from Tasuki's Lekka Shien, now swimming in a sea of searing orange and red. Chichiri didn't let his gaurd down, but an assassin had, though only slightly, and found himself cleaved by Tsing-Ka's saber.  
  
"Tsing-Ka!! We have to get out of here NOW no da!!" He yelled. A thin blade sliced at his chest. Chichiri darted back, but his shirt had been cleaved, as well as the string holding his kasa around the back of his neck. It went sailing into the crackling flames.  
  
"Dammit," hissed Chichiri. 'So much for that idea no da...'  
  
Suddenly, the assassin Chichiri had been fighted yelled something over the roar of the fire, and shimmered away in a flash of green, as did the man Tasuki and Rasconza had been doing battle with. Chichiri's eyed darted around.  
  
"I don't sense them anymore," he stated, breathing heavily. Who WERE these guys, anyway? He spread out his kesa. "Right now, we should all get back to Ligé-San no da."   
  
Wordlessly, the three obeyed and made their way to the kesa. In a few chants, they'd all left the blazing forest and the stench of blood behind.  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
  
"So you are certain that it is Ptah-Shu?"   
  
"Hai, Subaru-sama. No other woman could have done such damage: It is surely she."  
  
The man in black robes sat in his throne, stroking his chin thoughtfully as he looked at the two men bowing before him. He had sent seven of his finest assassins, yet only two had returned. It was almost disturbing how much two seishi, a dead woman, and a bandit could do. Almost.  
  
"Good. I grieve for the loss of our brothers-in-arms." Everyone present knew that the man couldn't give a smaller shit. "However, we need to dispose of Ptah-Shu. You two know where she has gone to." It was not a question. For if their lord had needed it to be, they would have been no better off than the smouldering hunks of carbon that had once been their partners back in the blazing forest.  
  
The other cloaked man came forward a step, bowed, and spoke. "Lord, she is now a bandit of Ligé-San." Their lord smiled, the green character glowing on his right cheek.   
  
"This is good. Send in Karasuki. Not the real Karasuki, of course," he added, seeing the confused looks on his Shadow Slayers' faces. "The OTHER Karasuki... You know who I mean..."  
  
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
"C'mon Sparky, rise 'n' shine!"  
  
Silence.  
  
"DAMMIT!"  
  
Rasconza kicked at a rock in frustration. The rock went sailing through the air, landed thirty miles away, and knocked out a young lady from another world, who was subsequently bitten by a hamster whilst unconcious, so she subsequently became enraged at another young lady who had nothing to do with anything, so she subsequently tried to take over the world. Unfortunately, her shoe was untied and she tripped over her laces, breaking her neck. This would have been a very Tragic Story if anybody had actually cared.  
  
Chichiri hadn't quite managed to warp them to Ligé-San. Instead, they were about a half a mile away, sitting on the ground. Tasuki was bleeding badly from the wound in his shoulder, and seemed to be unconscious. Rasconza was crouching over him, doing everything in her power to get him to wake up and say something, even if it would be stupid. Which ten-to-one it would be.  
  
"C'mon, Sparks," she growled. "How could ya git yerself so beat up about a stupid little dagger-wound?" She shook him by the shoulders. "Git up, ya asshole."  
  
Tasuki stopped breathing.  
  
Rasconza gasped and bit her lip. Tsing-Ka's jaw dropped open. Chichiri looked as if he were ready to cry.  
  
'The Lone Tigress does not cry... The Lone Tigress does not cry... The Lone...'  
"HUAN-LANG!!!"  
  
She fell onto the grass beside him, sobbing and pounding the ground. "Y'stupid BASTARD!! Yeah, go 'n' git yerself killed, see if I care!! Leave all yer buddies behind!! Can't you !!^*n' consider US?!" She continued to sniffle a bit and grabbed Huan-Lang's limp hand, forcing him to punch himself in the face. Tsing-Ka made his way over to calm her down, though he knew that in a few minutes he wouldn't be much better than she was. Chichiri put his hand on Tsing-Ka's shoulder. He sadly shook his head. Tsing-Ka understood and stayed where he was.  
  
"Bastard... Jerk... Sunnova..." Every single insult Rasconza could think of she was muttering into the grass. She had about five living friends in the world, and the Boss had been one of them. Probably... Her best, even if she always had been a jerk. She half-heartedly continued the reverie of names. "Dumbass... I hate you..."  
  
*tp*  
  
Rasconza felt an unusually gentle hand on her shoulder. She turned to see Tasuki, still on his side, grinning at her. Her eyes bugged out.  
  
"Heh heh heh... I fooled ya." He snickered. "I didn't know you cared!" A low growl emitted from the Tigress' throat.   
  
"I DON'T care, y'jerk!!" She hissed. "But... I was worried about you. DAMMIT, don't DO that...!"  
  
"Ano, Rassy?" Her eyes glinted dangerously.  
  
"WHAT."  
  
"Yew ken... let go o' my hand now."  
  
"An' yew ken let go o' my shoulder!"  
  
"Uhm, Rasconza no da..."  
  
"WHAT is it?!" Rasconza bore her teeth at Tsing-Ka and Chichiri. They sweatdropped.  
  
"Look, we're really sorry t' interrupt this tender moment an' shit but-"  
  
"SHUT THE @&!& UP!!" Yelled the two bandits who were in unnecessarily close proximity to each other. The sweatdrops quintuppled in size as the two instantaneously moved into different TIMEZONES...  
  
"I don't LIKE girls!"  
  
"An' I don't like HIM!"  
  
They sat cross-legged, arms folded, eyes closed, backs to each other, and noses in the air, displaying roughly the maturity normally associated with a pair of preschoolers.  
  
Chichiri sighed. "That's all well and good, Rasconza," he said quietly. "But I want to know... Who were those people no da?" Rasconza sighed.   
  
"I s'pose it's time to tell ya'all th' truth..." Tasuki snorted.   
  
"I SUPPOSE so!" Rasconza ignored him.  
  
"First... My father was a Byakko no Seishi. His name was Ptah-Jun, though he bore the mark of Toroki on his left ankle..."  
  
"Your dad was a SEISHI?!" Tasuki yelled. Rasconza nodded.  
  
"Hai, TASUKI," She had never called him that before. It was always Huan-Lang, Boss, or...SPARKY... "The Summoning Of Byakko went much better than the Summoning Of Suzaku. Everybody was alive... The Miko made three wishes and faced no side-effects: To be with her love, Takari, forever, to save her kingdom, and to give each of the seishi each of their wishes...  
  
"Father's best and most trusted friend was named Karasuki. Mother is Karasuki's brother... The two got married-"  
  
"Itai! Your DAD married another GUY?!" Tasuki yelled. Rasconza bopped him in the head.  
  
"No frikkin way ya baka yarou!! This fic isn't YAOI!!" Tasuki scratched his head.  
  
"Ano, what's yaoi?"  
  
"I dunno," said Rasconza, looking puzzled.  
  
"Or a fic, fer that matter?" Tsing-Ka asked.  
  
"No frikkin' clue," murmured Rasconza eerily.  
  
"Also no da," Chichiri said. "Why are we speaking in snippits of Japanese no da? Aren't we supposed to be CHInese na no da?"  
  
Suddenly, the entire quartet turned toward you, the reader, with huge grins on their faces and exclaimed in unison:  
  
"Ni-HAO!!"   
  
They then returned to the regularly scheduled fanfic as if nothing at all had happened.   
  
"So, my mum had a kid. That was m' brother, Ptah-Karasuki, named after m'uncle. Not long after, I was born..." She smiled. "Dad always said that just 'cause I was a woman dudn't mean I had t' live a woman's life, submissive and petite. He said I could GIT out there and do what I wanted to, an' that nothin' could stop me, an' that I'd always be his daughter..."  
  
Tasuki was perfectly still. He cocked his head and stared at the stammering Tigress, the rising sun reflected in her tears, her scar slashed across her face like a stain on a painting, something that didn't truly belong with the masterpiece.  
  
And then he realized tears were threatening to fall from his OWN eyes... And he didn't know why. Then he realized she was talking about her father in past-tense. Dang, it sounded like she loved her dad. He sat there, listening to her, totally captivated, ignoring the fact that the tears were gently cascading down his face...  
  
She was making him cry...  
  
?!  
  
"What Dad really wanted," she continued. "Was fer me t' prove women could be just as good as men........"  
  
"...so he wanted ya t' become a warrior?" Tsing-Ka asked. Rasconza shook her head and looked more than a tad nervous.  
  
"Ano... ACTUALLY... He wanted me t' be... A scholar."  
  
*WHUMP!* *WHUMP!*   
  
"That makes sense..." Chichiri and Tsing-Ka stared at Huan-Lang with incredulous expressions on thier faces. "It does. When I came inta' her room, she was practicin' frikkin' KANJI... An' she could barely move her arm t' boot! She didn't seem like no pansy-ass scholar type t' ME....!"  
  
Rasconza grinned. "Yer smarter than ya' look, Tasuki." She lapsed back into her state of melancholy. "When I was about fourteen... We were greated wit' a pleasant surprise: My paw's ol' buddy and his fellow Byakko no Seishi, Subaru. We welcomed him in with open arms..." Her sadness vanished. She began to state the gruesome facts plainly and simply.  
  
"Suabaru killed Mum an' Dad. Got Karasuki, too. Turns out, his wish was t' be the strongest of th'  
Byakko no Seishi. So bam, damn, we were all dead." Everyone's eyes became wide with horror and pity. Rasconza's reaction wasn't expected: She became angry.  
  
"WIPE THOSE LOOKS OFFA' YER STUPID FACES, Y'HEAR?!! I'M _FINE_ NOW, K?!!" She spun around to face each one of them, her tears always flowing behind her. "I'M LUCKY T'BE _ALIVE_, GOT IT?!! THAT'S WHAT I'VE TOLD M'SELF FER FIVE YEARS!!" She winced. "I was lucky t'wake up after that attack. Rat-bastard's horse kicked be right in' th' gut. Big 'orse, too. I wandered 'round, gettin' my food by chuckin' stuff at it. 'Ventually moved onta' blade-throwin'; Killed a tiger 'un day, got m'self my title. Rasconza was somethin' people used to yell; I still have no Byakko-damned clue what it means. Swiped these beauts from one place orranother." She indicated the glistening blades on her belts, some still red or brown from the evening before. She then looked at her three companions: Tsing-Ka had a look of pity on his face as he stared at the bandit who had the blood of seishi running through her veins. Chichiri's mask was in his hand, and his head was bowed slightly as he half-stared at the ground. And Tasuki... Tasuki was sitting on a rock, his arms crossed and his back to her. Rasconza nearly exploded.  
  
"YOU!! LOOK AT ME WHEN I'M TALKING TO YOU!!"  
  
Tasuki turned around, trembling, tears seeping out of his closed eyes. His mouth was shut tightly into a straight line. He grimaced, opened his eyes, letting the tears pour, and screamed at her:  
  
"STOP CRYING, DAMMIT!!!"  
  
  
  
  
  
((A/N: Whooo... THAT's a nasty past! It's obligatory if you're a Fushigi Yuugi character of any kind, though. Plus, I need it for the main story line.   
  
((Anonther not: Did ANYBODY else find it odd, even JUST a LITTLE, that your typical rabid psycho-chick was practicing kanji!? (Refer back to Chapter 3 if you have to) ANYBODY?!! Well, there it is, explained, if you did.  
  
((Also, as a final note: I was, at no point, by any means, Yui-bashing.))  



	7. Closure: Tough Girl Melting

((A/N: Due to scary people, I am writing this RIGHT NOW, because I highly value alla' my limbs!!  
  
((You're going to hear a phrase repeated over and OVER. If it gets annoying, good: It's supposed to symbolize how it's running through the character's head. Pay attention to the stuff in-between, though, 'cause it'll give you some nifty info about a certain character... This chapter can be a bit angsty...))  
  
  
~Hatashenai  
  
A Romantic Comedy By Akai Ku  
  
  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
The thought had been occurring to Rasconza over and over again for the past several hours as she looked out the small window in her own room in Ligé-San. After Tasuki had yelled at her, they'd continued back to Ligé-San in virtually total silence, Tasuki being supported between Chichiri and Tsing-Ka, with her scouting as far ahead as her light wounds would allow her. She would have helped them carry Tasuki, let the more-capable (though she was quite good) Chichiri do the scouting, but that one question had been preying on her mind so horribly she wouldn't have been able to be that close to Tasuki, even if she'd tried.  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
As she'd somewhat suspected, upon their return just before sundown, Knei-Gong and the guys didn't really care about whether or not the mission had failed: They just wanted to make sure the boss and the other guys (even though she was a girl, she'd earned the title "guy") were all right. After a few mumbled "I'm fine"s, Rasconza had quietly excused herself to her room in the West Wing, where she had been for the past four hours, gazing out the window, wondering...  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
Her keen ears picked up some shouted voices from the east, the direction of the Boss' Quarters, an the cener of the fort. She even recognized one of them as Hwa-Miroka's:  
  
"Suzaku!! How th' hell didja' git THIS wound, Boss?!"  
  
...someone mumbling about talking...  
  
"Suit yerself..."  
  
"Ya sure are bein' quiet..."  
  
Silence: Someone was speaking quietly.  
  
"B-Boss...?! What'cha cryin' fer?!!"  
  
"GIT OUT!!!"  
  
Tasuki.  
  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
People sometimes cry if they're sad, Rasconza mused. Or if they're in physical pain, or mental pain. But sometimes, people will cry tears of joy... Or anger... Or hatred... So many emotions can be easily expressed by crying, TRULY expressed by crying, not like sadistic smiles of anger or weak chuckles of sorrow.   
  
Rasconza stared at the star-filled sky.   
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
She thought of when she'd been a little girl, no more than six, practicing her writing, her beautiful kana that she was going to show to her father, when a servant had tripped and spilt grape dye all over her parchment.  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
She thought of when she was fighting her brother for that last slice of cake, when she felt the metal tool slice her face in a flash of red, giving her her scar.  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
She thought of her brother standing before her father, bowing profusely, apologizing between gasps for air as he mother bandaged her face.  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
She thought of when Subaru had come to visit them after all of those years, and she and her brother standing behind her father as he hugged his dear old friend.  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
She thought of Subaru, striking down her mother with his blade...  
  
Why do people cry so much?   
  
...and raising it above her father's head, and her father mouthing the word, "why" over and over again...  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
She thought of dashing out into the cold night after him with her brother, to see him climbing into the saddle of his horse, like everything was normal, as if he hadn't completely shattered the lives of two young human beings...  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
  
...and her teenage brother standing there, weaponless, his long cream hair swirling about in the air as he stood there defiantly before the deadly man...  
  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
  
...and Karasuki falling onto the soft earth, with a deep gash across his torso...  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
...and running to him, and him telling her to stay strong, and that they would always love her...  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
...and she standing before the killer in her brother's stead, and she being struck down by a hoof of a great black roan....  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
...and her waking up, body throbbing, all by herself, without even the sight of her family's bodies resting peacefully to calm her.  
  
Why do people cry so much?   
  
When the mother saw her baby being taken away by a great male tiger...  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
And when the tiger fell dead, with one of her knives imbedded in its throat, and the mother embraced her baby and thanked Rasconza, again and again and again...  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
When she finally found Ligé-San and met Knei-Gong, and things looked as if she would finally have a home...  
  
Why do people cry so much?  
  
And when she thought Huan-Lang had died, leaving her forever...  
  
She gazed out her window and watched as a shooting star streaked by. She sighed heavily.  
  
"Why do people cry so much?"  
  
She felt a hand on her shoulder, squeezing none-too-gently.  
  
"Because people are just pitiful, Shu. So damn pitiful and wretched it ain't even funny."  
  
?!  
  
Rasconza whirled around. Standing behind her was a man, a bit older than Tasuki. His hair was very long, on the border between silver and white, and flowed unkempt behind his back. His eyes were an eerie hazel, and his lips were set in a sneering smile. He wore a light-blue vest, loose slacks often used by martial artists, and was barefoot.  
  
Rasconza grabbed his wrist and twisted his arm off of her shoulder. He chuckled softly.  
  
"Still my sweet baby sister, eh?"   
  
*BA-DUMP!*  
  
He'd changed... His smile, his gait... The sinister aura that seemed to radiate from him... But those eyes... Though they were now cold and full of hate, she'd know those eyes anywhere... Because they were also her own.  
  
"K-Karasuki...?" She stammered. "H-how... Why're you...?!"  
  
"Alive?" He finished for her, his hands straying to a pouch that he had dangling at his side. Rasconza could only nod dumbly. "Father saved me."  
  
?!!  
  
"D-Dad...?" She stammered. "H-He's... ALIVE?!!" But that COULDN'T be true... She'd seen Father struck down before her very unbelieving eyes!!   
  
But then again, she'd also seen her brother killed...  
  
Her brother let out a cruel, heartless chuckle. "Oh no, not YOUR father: Mine."  
  
?!?!?!  
  
"What the _****_ are ya talkin about, Karasuki?!" What the...? Her brother watched her silently, his expression a soulless mask. Watching her face carefully...   
  
Rasconza bowed her head to avoid his gaze. No... It couldn't be... Her brother... Her own brother who used to tease her and brawl with her in the fields when they were done working or studying...  
  
She looked up at her brother, her eyes burning with rage. Karasuki merely smiled, almost sickeningly. "What... Did... He... Do... To..." She clenched her fists. "What... Did... SUBASU DO TO YER MIND?!!"   
  
*SLASH!*  
  
*shhht!*  
  
Rasconza took a wild lash out at her brother with the blade she had concealed in her right fist. He easily backflipped out of the path of the metal blade and flung something at her in midair before disappearing out the window.  
  
"GUESS PROJECTILE WEAPONRY RUNS IN TH' FAMILY, EH SIS?!!!"  
  
*BZZT!!*  
  
"AAAAAAAAAARGH!!!"  
  
~*~  
  
Tasuki sat alone in his room. His shoulder felt fine now... But the feeling in his chest was another story. He didn't like girls... Miaka had been a different case altogether but... What did it matter?  
  
A lot.  
  
He frowned and thought to himself. She'd made him cry... By telling him something that effected him in no way whatsoever. Just by telling him about how much she had suffered, that had made him cry, too.  
  
Dammit, what was WITH him?! He slammed his fist down on a table, causing a vase he'd stolen on one raid or another to fall to the ground and shatter. He growled, but then decided he didn't care.   
  
He shouldn't have snapped yelled at her... He'd scared her into being quiet... Which wasn't that bad but, hell, it wasn't her. She had something about her... Something Tasuki couldn't put his finger on... Something wild that he could never associate with women... Which made her OK. But he'd seen it too much. She'd always been fighting her feelings about everything, just so she could be strong for her dead family. About life, about how people should act, about how SHE should act... About him?  
  
'Nononononononononononono! Go away Bad Thought!Git the hell away I don't caaaaaaaaaaaaaare I'm not LISTENING LALALALALAAAAAA!!'  
  
A shout of terror, almost a scream.   
  
Rasconza's scream.  
  
Horror gripped at Tasuki's very soul as the tips of his boots, touching the floor just barely, sent him sailing toward the West Wing, his cloak flowing behind him.  
  
  
~*~  
  
Rasconza had not been fast enough. Two glowing green disks sailed at her chest. They emitted sparks and energy as they latched onto her, sending pain and thunder and the gods knew what else through her body. The pain she felt was amazing. It jarred her bones violently, ripped through her flesh, and clawed and mauled at her very essence. She felt as if every single grain of her flesh was being torn at and ripped at, pulled arpat and pushed violently together again, then sent to burn in ebonfire. The pain made her shudder as the red mist she had faced far too many times formed before her eyes again. She couldn't stand up... She clutched at her chest and gasped for air as her legs began to give way.  
  
"Hua..."  
  
She fell.  
  
But she fell into the arms of something warm and strong.  
  
"I'm right here, Rassy..."  
  
Tasuki, Knei-Gong, Tsing-Ka, and Hwa-Miroka were all there, gasping for breath from having run to her so quickly. She was glad... She probably wouldn't have to do this for much longer... This act...  
  
"That's it, Rassy... Just cry..." Tasuki put an arm around her, the other behind her head, and pulled her close, pushing her head to his shoulder. She buried it there, gripping at his cloak as she'd done on the horseback ride, and Tasuki winced as he felt her body wrack with sobs. Suzaku, how it hurt to see her cry. She could feel his raspy, exhausted breaths on her face. She couldn't do this tough-girl thing anymore... It had just become too much... Just this once...  
  
"Can I stop?" He heard her ask softly. "Can I stop pretending to be so strong?"  
  
"No."  
  
Silence. She didn't lift her head up. "Why not?"  
  
He began to tremble. "B-because... Ya ARE strong, Rasconza... You just had t'face so much crap... It would've made ME kill m'self, probably... Look, I'm crying..." She felt him rest his head on top of hers, burying his own face in her hair and inhaling slowly, deeply.  
  
"So you can take a break from bein' strong... Yew can always come runin' t'me..." His voice was heavy, laden with emotion she'd never heard from him before. "But don't give up... Never stop being strong..."  
  
His voice dropped to the lowest of whispers.  
  
"That's one of the reasons I love you."  
  
  
  
  
  
*~~End Of Part One, Hatashenai~~*  
  
  
  
(Author's Note: Currently being continued in "Tsuki no Hitokoro". Check under my profile and it'll be there.)  



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